December, 2022
I am watching the snow fall from the hospital window with my Grandma. I've had a lot of time to contemplate life this past while. What I want it to look like. What I want my ministry to be. When I get to the end, what wounds do I want to have healed? What people do I want to have held, what tears do I want to soothe and what difference do I want to make? I'm in no more hurry to get older, I don't need to know who I'm going to be. I have a sinking feeling life's about to creep up on me and if I'm not careful, it'll just happen to me.
Honestly I let myself get in a serious *mood* this week. I watched it drape over me like a blanket and did nothing to push it off. I thought it would comfort me but it only proved to smother. Things can look pretty bleak sometimes, like these skies over Portland.
But something snapped me out of it.
My eyes brightened.
My Grandma is very sick, that's all I can really say here, and she is here sharing the Gospel and her testimony with the doctors.
That is hope. And that is something I can cling to for the rest of my life.
Oh God, I want to be like this woman.
With every breath and every day I have, may I proclaim my Savior. He has my heart.
And all the rest of me, too haha.
I'm up most these nights writing music. I always glance at the clock as it passes eleven, knowing I need to be up early for work but figuring I'm young. There's always coffee. Sounds like a good idea in the moment, anyway.
So here's the December 3rd 11:12pm rendition for ya. I wrote this because of the hope that stirred in me over my Grandma. Because I wanted to say something to the fellow believer, and I wanted to say something to everyone I love who doesn't realize how much they need Jesus yet. So for whatever it's worth, here's another song.
Love, Sarah
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