I'm going to give you a little caveat. I'd been dreaming of New York since I was a young girl. Seeing a Broadway play on Broadway has been on my birthday list since I was 14. It had it's own little header, the "Never-going-to-happen-but-a-girl-can-dream" header. All my family knows it. But you know what? At the time, I didn't really enjoy the big city like I thought I would. Granted, we were stranded there for what would turn into days, but it seemed way more stressful than I had expected. Be that as it may. Looking back? I miss it. So much.
Or perhaps I miss the memories with my friends. I miss the autumn wind in central park, I miss the thrill of my first subway experience. I miss the loud orchestra during the intermission of Wicked, I miss hiking to find Balto with my brother. I miss sitting in front of the Museum of Natural History watching the people and the pigeons, the three of us sharing a soft pretzel in the shade. I miss seeing the horses pulling carriages with their feather plumes and the streets flooded with flowers from a row of florist shops.
But Broadway? Oh, no. Oh Broadway... you were perfect. Even better than a dream.
October 2nd, 2019:
There came a point in that four hour drive, after our game of "3,000 ?'s about Me" was over and all had fallen silent... where the city suddenly rose beyond the tall, dead grass. "Wait, is that it?" I gasp, plastering myself to the car window, aware of my wide-eyed wonder and relishing the feeling.
It was indeed. A stately presence that seemed to come from nowhere. However, seeing it and getting to it in a timely manner are two very different things.
An hour or so later we found ourselves in Queens. Spider-man's hometown, am I right? Goin' dandy. When Matt pulls over on a particularly sunny street and pops the hood.
Uh-oh.
I was still in too much of a dreamy state to feel panicked about the potential possibilities of being on the side of the road on a random street in Queens. Too happy to finally be there to feel any prick of fear as to why our car had stopped.
(On a side note, I was fixated with a building across the street. It's sign said the weirdest thing: "Hour Children". Does anybody care to enlighten me?)
After FaceTiming with Dad (who can naturally fix everything), Matt got back in and we jetted into the crazy traffic. What kind of barbaric country is this? I thought in horror. It was worse than a third world country in my opinion. We were warmly yelled at by a few of the welcoming locals. Unavoidable. Finally, our trooper and fearless-leader delivered us safely to the safe haven: La Quinta, Queens.
We country girls felt like bolting the door and staying in said safe haven. But I'm getting ahead of myself ;).
We checked in to our room on the 9th story. The gal at the desk was legit so nice to us "kids" (even though she wasn't much older than us). She gave us every tip possible on how things are in the big city and asked if we wanted a map of the subway system. "No thanks," Matt says, like a man. We weren't planning on needing the subway, mom would have an aneurysm. But, knowing where we were and that the unexpected was expected, I said, "Actually, maybe we will take that map please," and she looked relieved haha. She told us the main thing we needed to know: which train in which direction got us back to home base.
Up in the room we claimed our beds and threw down our stuff and flopped down for a sec.
I got up and slowly made my way to the window. I had an instinct that this would be kind of a big moment.
I dramatically pulled back the curtain and poked my face through. My soul caught. My breath escaped me in a rush. There before me lay the most beautiful view of New York City's skyline, I choose to believe I will ever see. Right there, so huge and real. "You guys... you have to see this."
They came and we were all transfixed. Or at least I was transfixed for all of us.
Matt needed to take one of his school finals on his phone like a trooper. Think of all the turmoil he went through at personal scholarly sacrifice to show us girls a good time on the town! When he finished he left to take the car to the shop, because it was shot. Dead. We weren't going anywhere.
That door was bolted, girl. That snack back was dived (yes, dived) into and I sat on the bed eating my salad piece by piece with my fingers with wide eyes as Sianna and I FLIPPED. OUT. Major panic.
We were two girls in a big city relatively alone. Obviously we stayed safe in the neighborhood because I live unscathed to tell the tale - but it didn't look safe (at first. Our standards lowered as we went ;). Teasing...). After talking talking talking and letting ourselves voice our silly, irrational anxieties we realized we would be much more comfortable once we got our feet under us. When we had an idea of what we were doing and where we were going it would be easier.
But we couldn't stay there forever. We had fun things planned. And our fear couldn't keep us from it. So we got cleaned up. Hair straightened (not that it did much good with the humidity and wind) makeup done and we were ready to go. Off to the best thing that's ever happened to me - almost ;). Not to be cliche, but Jesus is obviously way better.
So if you didn't know this, my sweet brother and his girlfriend decided as a thank you for doing what I love (taking pictures and videos of them and mashing them together to look presentable) that they would treat me to my bucket list, dream come true, true-blue Broadway-experience, New York City play. Of course I had to pick Wicked. There was no real choice there, that is the classic must-see favorite of many around the world. So we were off to see the Wizard.
After some debate we landed on the decision to take the subway. It was two blocks and down the escalator to the subway station. We figured out the whole metro card thing, swiped and pushed through the gates and took another escalator down to the platform. (Turns out you're supposed to re-use those metro cards. Woops haha #outoftowner)
Where we stood.
I felt electrified, standing in giddy anticipation of where the heck I was. I was taking a subway in New York. I was an adult taking a subway. Like... what? I didn't feel half the overwhelmed- country-girl lost in a big city now. Now, standing tall and capable. I was bouncing on my toes looking down the tunnel for the next blast of air to rush past and fill my lungs with glee as we slipped onto a crowded train.
It amazes me how Sianna invokes such protectiveness in me. This happens all the time- I saw a sketchy dude and instead of moving away from him I purposefully moved toward him, placing myself between him and my friend. It was oddly empowering. So I stood in the middle of the car holding a bar. One thing about being the third wheel, I was often "separated" from the other two in small ways. Standing on my own. I didn't feel so bad as empowered (again). It's a good thing I was embracing the "leadership" I felt. I confess, it would have been easy to cower or long for the explicit protection and connection Sianna was getting as "the girlfriend". It could have been a root of resentment. But turns out we are able to captivate thoughts. Thousands of people take that ride every day. On their own. And I had my friends with me. Someday somebody will be holding my hand. Not because I can't stand on my own, but because I don't have to.
I wasn't going to include that, but I decided it was real. Not offensive, not unkind. A genuine feeling I had to wrestle through.
Besides, I was too enthralled. The expression on my face (well, obviously I couldn't see it but I FELT it) when that subway took off... I felt like I was shooting forward on a Disneyland ride, I was so giddy. It was amazing. If it's an every day occurrence for you, I apologize, excuse me for my childlike wonder. But please take a moment to appreciate the small things. That moment is actually one of my favorites. So many things lay ahead, wonderful, untold things and I was on my way on an exciting ride.
And then the train stopped.
...
Haha.
So did I mention I was in New York? Movie-typical New York? Because... they evacuated the train. Matt or Sianna will say they did not "evacuate" us, but they totally did. We were forced to get off the train because the police were infiltrating the train. I was too happy at how "funny" it was to be concerned for my life or why the S.W.A.T. team or brutesquad or whatever was making us exit a small confined space where criminals were apparently at work.
The young woman with short dark hair (and a cardigan, skirt, striped leggings and a floppy hat carrying a big canvas bag. I have a great memory.) on the bar with me muttered, "Typical New York experience," and rolled her eyes. I instantly latched on to her as my friend. She was very nice to me. "Stick with me," she said and led us off the train and on to the next. That's more helpful than you know: swapping trains when you're on a time table and totally know nothing about what goes where... she was a God-sent.
We passed policemen and women on the stairs as we emerged at our destination out in the open air. It turns out "Broadway" is not a single street. It's like, a block for every single play they have ever done. It's a metropolis. And ours was on like 51st or something. Gershwin Theater. It took us a bit to find it but once we realized we were in a maze of play-houses it was hard to miss the giant billboard that said "Wicked," with an arrow pointing stage right. We slipped in among the crowd and took the escalator upstairs. And then climbed two more batches of stairs with red carpet in our semi-formals and found our way through the big doors to our seats. I was terrified of being locked out, but ran back to the bathrooms to quickly wash my hands thinking of the subway polls I'd been holding. I made it back in with time, the usher acknowledged me as I motioned that my brother and friend had my ticket.
When the play began my heart began to choke. Was this okay? I was attending a play called Wicked. The flying monkeys and dark room and loud loud loud music made me panic slightly. I was terrified there'd be a crowd interaction and any moment flying monkeys would be traipsing down the aisles next to me. That's be too real and inescapable!
But I was totally fine and my fear unfounded and the live orchestra was breathtaking. As the play began I was enraptured with awe from start to intermission to finish. I am so sad these things are never recorded. I'm biased, but the Idina Menzel version that is on Spotify is not nearly as perfect as our Hannah Corneau and her consorts. They were too perfect, too spot on, too beautiful and handsome, too breathtakingly amazing to ever compare. And I shall likely never see them all together again :(. That is my sadness. But. I shall live with my happy memories of outward perfection :).
We stepped into the world of Time Square. It was so different and also totally what I expected all wrapped up in one. That describes New York. You see it in the confines of four corners of your T.V. all the time, so I expected it to be smaller like that. And, conversely, I expected it to be bigger. It is a HUGE city. Way way bigger than I ever imagined, like, I still don't think I can comprehend the mass amount of sky-scraper-huge it is. But also there is no room anywhere, the buildings and parking lots are all squished together and UP. So it's also too small ironically.
Home is too big and too small in all the right ways. The big city is wonderful. But not my dream anymore. My dream looks a little more like rolling hills and oak trees and mountains and beaches and the sweet Northwest winds of home.
An uber ride later and back at "home" I found myself looking out the window again.
And I melted. I melted.
(... Absolutely no pun intended, considering.)
The city lights... New York city all lit up at night from our view is truly an unforgettable and remarkable experience. It's really worth it. Just like they say. I could picture falling in love with that.
Love, Sarah
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